Dress Up, Dress Down
by coffeebuddha
Summary: Shawn's in a suit and Lassie isn't. What's wrong with this picture?
1. Chapter 1

Written in response to a prompt at psychkinkmeme over on LJ that said "Shawn dressed as a Responsible Adult (bonus points for suit and tie) and/or Lassie as Casual Slacker.

* * *

Lassiter sprawled comfortably in the driver's seat, relaxed and ready for a potentially long wait, and peered intently at Shawn over the rims of his sunglasses. "Now, you remember the plan, right? Because, so help me, if you mess this up-"

"I got it, Lassie. I'm not exactly escaping from Alcatraz here." Shawn squirmed in his seat and tugged on his ridiculously expensive tie. You would think that a suit that cost more than a year's rent at his first apartment would have been a little more comfortable, but _no_, it was like wearing a straight jacket. A straight jacket made of dark, worsted wool with a raw silk noose. Shawn fidgeted and made a face at Lassie. "How do you _wear_ one of these every day?"

"It's just what grown ups do, Spencer," Lassiter said as he reached across and swatted Shawn's hands away, jerking the tie's knot back into place. "Don't forget that you're supposed to be playing one right now. I know it's a stretch, but I need to you to at least try to pretend that you have a maturity level higher than a twelve-year-old's. Think you can pull that off, or should we throw the towel in now?"

Shawn eyed Lassie's torn jeans and old, worn t-shirt enviously. "Is it too late for us to switch places? After all, you're the one who's good with ties. And I'd love to get into your pants."

Lassiter rolled his eyes. "You're the one who threw a fit about wanting to be involved. Maybe if your 'psychic visions' were a little clearer, you would have know what you were volunteering for before you committed to doing this. Besides, they know what I look like. If I went in there, I might as well go in dressed in full uniform with a neon sign flashing the word 'cop' over my head."

Shawn perked up and stopped twisting his cuff links. "Do you still have your old uniform? Not for now, obviously, but it could be fun later."

"Focus," Lassiter snapped, glaring more at Shawn's tie than at him as he fastened a tie pin to it. "Now remember, the camera's in the pin. All you have to do is go in the store and record the exchange. The instant the money changes hands, get out of there. Understand?"

Shawn grumbled something about hating ties and dress slacks and uncomfortable, shiny shoes that Lassiter took as a yes.

Lassiter smoothed the front of Shawn's jacket and adjusted his tie one more time before grabbing him by the back of the neck and yanking him in for a hard, brief kiss. "You pull this off, and I'll show you exactly how _good_ I can be with a tie later tonight."

Shawn grinned as he pulled away and climbed out of the car, barely glancing at the ritzy cigar shop down the block as he started backing up toward it. "Promise?"

* * *

Second part, which will bump the rating up to M, will be up in the next day or two.

Nothing belongs to me.

Feedback is always appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

"I officially know more than I ever wanted to about imported cigars. Seriously. Ask me anything about any of them. I can tell you where they were rolled, who rolled them, and where the roller took their dates when they wanted to get lucky." Shawn slipped a finger under the knot of his tie and pulled, the strip of fabric loosening with a faint, silken rustle. They had left the tie pin camera with Jules and abandoned her for Lassie's house because Shawn had been adamant that if he was going to smell like a saloon from the old west, he might as well go where the guns were. Also, Lassie's shower was nicer than his. He flopped bonelessly down on Lassie's couch-which was also nicer than his-and nudged his shoes off.

"You're going to get the suit wrinkled," Lassie said with a glare. Shawn flapped a dismissive hand at him and unbuttoned the top couple buttons of his shirt.

"You have one of those steamer things; it'll be fine." Shawn smiled cheekily up at Lassie when he stepped between his spread legs and bent over to gingerly take hold of the expensive tie.

"I'm serious, Spencer. That suit costs more than my first car. I want you to take it off."

Shawn's eyes flashed dark and he moved forward, his palms trailing up Lassie's thighs to rest on his denim clad hips. "Do you, now?" He stood and crowded into Lassie's space, holding him up when he stumbled back and nearly fell over the coffee table. Shawn smiled wickedly and nipped Lassie's lower lip. "Because I was thinking that I wanted to leave it on."

Lassiter glared his Not Amused glare at Shawn, but his hands curled at Shawn's sides when he leaned up to kiss him and he didn't resist when Shawn steered him toward the bedroom. Shawn moaned into Lassie's mouth, his tongue thrusting a promising rhythm, and his hands slipped under the other man's shirt to trace the toned lines of his back. He pressed forward until the backs of Lassie's legs hit the mattress and he tumbled back onto the bed. Shawn stood looming over him, a smirk teasing at the corners of his mouth, and slowly slid the tie from around his neck.

"I think I'm starting to see why you like your suits so much, Lassie. There's something very empowering about them." He dropped the tie on the bedside table and grinned down at Lassie. "What was it you said before?" Shawn made a show of looking up like he was thinking before turning hot, carnal eyes on Lassiter. "Oh, yeah. I want you to take it off."

Shawn's grin turned predatory as he noted Lassie's Adam's apple bob when he swallowed. He seemed almost trance-like as he slowly stripped his t-shirt off and let it fall to the floor. His jeans and boxers quickly followed, and Shawn felt his cock jump at the sight of how hard his lover already was.

Shawn nudged Lassie's legs apart and dropped to his knees between them, glancing coyly up at the other man through his eyelashes, an almost mocking smile on his lips. He drew his fingernails up the outsides of Lassie's thighs to his ass. Lassie shivered under his hands, outright jerking when Shawn licked and nipped at the inside of his thigh, his nose nudging the underside of his erection. Shawn licked a stripe up Lassie's cock, fighting back a smug smile at the moan that wrung from the other man. He took the head of his cock in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, before stroking his fingers around the base and sucking. Shawn's tongue traced teasing patterns across the sensitive skin and he took more of Lassie's cock until Lassie was sprawled on his back, panting Shawn's name, his fingers twisted almost painfully tight in Shawn's hair.

Lassie thrust up into the enticing heat of his mouth and Shawn let him, humming happily around his cock. After a few seconds, Lassie paused and Shawn glanced up to see him propped up on his elbow and looking down incredulously. Shawn pulled away with an obscene sounding pop and arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"Was that the theme to the 8 o'clock news?" Lassie asked thickly, his eyes still slightly glazed with lust. Shawn rolled his eyes.

"Well, you wanted me to act like an adult, and what's more adult than up to date news reports from a man with great hair?" Shawn smiled and ran nimble fingers along Lassie's length, which made Lassie shudder, but didn't change the look on his face. Shawn sighed and climbed up on the bed, nudging Lassie toward the headboard. "You know what, forget about the humming," he said as he snagged the tie from the side table. "What happened to you showing me how good you are with a tie," he asked, trailing the silky ends of the tie down Lassie's chest to lightly tease his cock. At that, Lassie seemed to snap back to himself and he caught Shawn's wrist in a strong hand.

"Spencer," he rumbled lowly. Shawn smirked and lifted his hand above Lassie's head and twisted his arm so that he was the one holding Lassie's wrist pinned against the headboard. He leaned down and licked into Lassie's mouth, slowly tracing it's familiar contours, while he deftly caught Lassie's other hand, raised it up to join the other, and tied them both to the headboard.

"On the other hand," he said against Lassie's lips, his fingers drifting down to stroke at the cleft of Lassie's ass, "you're always the one who gets to play with the ties."

* * *

Lassie lifted a hand to rub at his eyes and froze at the slippery feel of expensive fabric on his face. The ends of the tie were ragged where the seams had popped. "Ah, shit," he groaned. Shawn rolled up on his elbow and looked at the ruined tie.

"Jeez, Lassie, there are easier ways to prove you're a manly man. Next time just whip out your gun," he said, threading the remains of the tie through his fingers. Lassiter would have snapped at him, but he was too busy surveying the suit Shawn was still wearing with horror. It was creased and crumpled and...stained.

"Ah, shit," he said again. "That was a loan. Do you have any idea how much a suit like that costs? We can't return it like that!"

Shawn shucked the jacket off and cast a critical eye over the worst of the stains. "It's not _that_ bad. Worst case scenario, we send it to a tailor, have it taken in to get rid of the really bad spots, and give it to Jules. With a fedora and a fake tommy gun, she'll be all set to be a gangster for Halloween." Shawn leaned over and pecked Lassie on the lips. "And you're totally missing the good news."

Lassiter closed his eyes, not certain he really wanted to know what the 'good news' was, but knowing that Shawn was bound to tell him anyway. No point fighting the inevitable. "Oh? What's that," he asked dryly.

"We don't have to worry about the price of the shirt at least," Shawn said with a grin as he deftly unbuttoned said shirt, the melon colored fabric slipping easily between his fingers. "It's Gus's. Once I tell him about tonight, he'll let me keep it!"

* * *

I feel so freaking self conscious about writing anything even approaching porn. *headdesk* Second attempt and I've moved from hand jobs to a blow job and the implication of more. Maybe someday I'll grow a pair and manage to write an entire sex scene.

Feedback is always appreciated.


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